Okay you guys. Thanks to your encouragement, I’m going to commit to
writing every Monday about what’s on my mind or weighing on my heart.
I’ve never kept a journal—why write it down if you can talk about
it?!—and often wondered if I was missing out. This will be an
interesting experiment. I may burn out or run out of things to say, in
which case maybe you can help me out with some topics? As long as this
remains a positive forum, I totally open to suggestions!
Over the weekend I caught the pilot of Satisfaction. For a USA network show it wasn’t nearly as trashy as I expected (though still not as good as Suits.)
Based on the trailer, you might think it’s all about sex and marriage
and cheating spouses. And while that is the premise (this is USA
network, after all), at the core are characters questioning whether they
are truly satisfied with the life they’ve created. It’s a theme I spend
an inordinate amount of time obsessing about with friends: Are you
satisfied? Will we ever be satisfied? Wait—what does it even MEAN to be
satisfied? What would that feel like or look like? Clearly I don’t have
the answer to this one. My lack of sophistication in the satisfaction
department is evident by the constant furniture rearranging I do at
home. Why can’t I just be satisfied with the placement of the throw pillows or the color of those walls? Mr. Bets often asks me the same thing.
In moments of clarity I know that my fussing and zhoushing is a
combination of decorating as creative outlet (totally healthy) and
placing too much emphasis on stuff to satisfy my soul. I love beautiful
things and have made a living writing about them, but I’m beginning to
think that all the stuff our first-world lives afford is often a
distraction from our inner voice telling us what we need to feel more
satisfied. The same goes for social media, which creates so much noise
in our daily lives that we can’t possibly get quiet enough to listen to
what our inner self needs. Again, guilty as charged. And yet, I keep
getting little nudges, like a TV show, or spending time a ton of
precious with my family this summer, that confirm what I already know
and just need to lean into: That it’s okay to want more, as long as
going after it doesn’t diminish your appreciation for what you already
have.
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