Get longer-lasting erections more often

A stiff Martini

Erectile dysfunction affects over 5.6 million men in the UK, with 40% of guys over the age of 40 regularly feeling a little "down". You can guard against frustrating detumescence by oiling the pipes with a Martini. The natural oil in olives is rich in the "good" (monounsaturated) fats also found in avocados, peanuts and oily fish. A study in the Journal Of Applied Physiologyfound that men with more "good" oil in their diets had higher testosterone levels and a stronger sex drive. 

The Second University of Naples also discovered that the improved circulation encouraged by the monounsaturated Martini garnish improved erection strength and regularity by 30%. Plus, it reduces your risk of heart disease. But please, just watch out for the gin, won't you? After all, you want the ladies to be stirred, not shaken. 

Net cost 
Jumbo green olives, £3.75 for 250g, luigismailorder.com

Net gain 
Be 30% harder 30% more often and stick one up at the stats trying to bring you down.